I believe we ask for advice when we are looking for confirmation, above all else. We already know what we want to do but ask for assurance in the form of advice.
I saw this video of CBC Radio shared by Buzzfeed, and it amused me to know that, at the end, the advice of the 93-year old was not to take anyone’s advice because we don’t know what the hell we’re doing.
It didn’t take me 93 years of my life to know that. Heck, I didn’t even have to watch the video to know that.
True, some people may know what they’re talking about. They may be credible enough to give you some good guidance but in the end we have to go through what we need to go through to learn and grow. We can try to put ourselves in others’ shoes but we can never really be in their shoes, now can we? The universe has a funny way of showing us this.
I realized it when I was talking to one of my best friends.
She asked me some relationship advice and that’s when it clicked. I couldn’t give her anything worth her while because I understood then and there that whatever I will tell her may be good (or not) but I can never be sure enough to know it was applicable to her situation.
Why? Let’s say I may have gone through something similar but we are two different people. How I cope doesn’t mean she has to cope that way too. What may be healing for me may be destructive for her. There is really no right or wrong way to go about things. Some people are potatoes. Some are eggs.
No one knows ourselves better than ourselves. We are the only ones who know exactly what we need. Remember that advices don’t dictate our decisions. Instead, it should only help mold our choices.
That’s why lately, I try to practice giving vague advices – cryptic even. I don’t want people to absorb what I say and take it as an instruction. I want people to take my advice as a clue that directs them to self realization.